Freakily Asked Questions

Let us quell the swirling pit of anxiousness you may have around online shopping with these entertaining and mildly erotic set of Freakily Asked Questions.

Size Info

There is a Size Guide link on each product page which gives measurements for each specific garment and size. Please check this before ordering to make sure you’re getting something that fits rather than looking like a penguin in a potato chip packet.

Product Availability
We do our best to ensure that all product colour variations and sizes are in stock however due to the many supply chain issues that face us all nowadays we cannot always guarantee that everything will be available in all regions. Product availability should be as live as is humanly (and machinely) possible on the product page so you should know before you click the “Buying Things Makes Me Happy” button. In the unlikely case that you make an order and our supplier has stock issues we will contact you and offer a replacement or a refund.

Shipping Info
Please note that we only ship to the following countries at present – United States, Canada, Australia and New Zealand. We will be expanding our reach soon so if you live outside of those regions and want us to move faster then send us an annoying email and tell us that snails with bricks on their head move faster. Do it!

Shipping costs and estimated shipping times can be calculated in your cart or at checkout. Additional items of the same type will generally only add a few dollars onto your shipping bill, so it can worth combining orders. But hey, you do you.

Note that while we try to fulfil all items from their region of purchase, some items may ship from outside your home country depending on garment availability. This may mean that orders with multiple items may be fulfilled/shipped separately. The shipping estimate in your cart will give you an idea of total shipping time, however if any items are being fulfilled from outside your home country you’ll generally receive items shipped locally first. If that made sense then you’re much smarter than we are!

Payment Info
We offer credit/debit card and PayPal payments methods. All credit card transactions go through the trusted and secure PayPal system. For your security and safety we have chosen not to utilise user accounts on our site. Why give haxors and script kiddies more options right?

During the payment process you will have the choice of entering your billing information (including Credit Card details) each time you purchase a product or you can create a PayPal account which saves you entering shipping and billing information for every purchase. All data for this account is stored with PayPal and comes with various protections policies (see for complete information).

You will see Hidden Shoal Publishing on any payment correspondence. Don’t freak out! Thats just Shirticus’s business daddy and general financial overlord.

Even the bestest people in the world (yes we’re looking in the mirror) get it wrong sometimes. If you have any issues with your products then please contact us straight away and we’ll help to resolve it. Any claims for misprinted/damaged/defective items must be submitted within 30 days after the product has been received so we can speak with our print house and sort out the issue. For packages lost in transit, all claims must be submitted no later than 30 days after the estimated delivery date.

Note that you may see contact information for our print house on your delivery packaging. Please do not contact them about any product issues. We know how to speak “print house” talk so be sure to let us do the hassling out on your behalf.